The Greatest Difference


There are many things about men and women that make the two genders rather different. For example, men have penises. But tonight, while joining my parents for dinner downtown after work and a mall pitstop, the ultimate difference was made clear to me. Upon seeing a plastic shopping bag, a woman’s first thought is ooo what’d ya get?! A man’s first thought is trashbag? and considers it a place to flick the lettuce picked from his teeth. 

Yes. That actually happened.

After the initial shock and horror left my face, assured that my new jeans were safely wrapped in tissue paper and not affected by the food-flicking, I was left wondering why there are such different reactions. Why do my brothers nearly snor at the idea of shopping, while I used the activity as a remedy for my dreadful cold? Why do girls love to shop so much, while boys couldn’t really care less? 

Only one source would have all the answers: Google. The following is a compilation of what I believe are the most accurate/amusing answers that I found.

– picking through racks of clothing relates to our foraging ancestors. Think of measuring quality in terms ripeness of the fruit!

– Men like to hunt and be done with it. They are also better stalkers. 

– Men like car chasing. Women like bargain chasing.

– Ovulation. Our hormones tell us we want sexy clothes. (wonder if this one was written by a man…)

– Women see shopping as an acceptable exercise regimen. (Yes. Yes we do.)

– Women seek the complements of a great fitting outfit when they can’t get real compliments. 

– Men don’t have the attention span to shop

– Women battle each other with their clothes; when someone comes along with the slap of a gorgeous gown, only a Louboutin-roundhouse kick to the face will get you ahead of the game.

 

Of course, scientific studies are always working to prove these theories. I predict the results will be available by the end of the current season of Real Housewives.  

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